Hash #231 – Chi & Rick James’ Bitch Hash
Wankers!!
I woke up yesterday wondering where the hell our hash recap was, it has been a week, what is taking so long for the write-up?! Then I realized, oh yea, my unfaithful co-writer flaked, once again, so we rely on my pathetic memory to recall what went down (or who, if ya know what I mean).
Mr. Chi was haring and he was dumb enough to ask me to bring his flour bag for him. Um, seriously dude? You trust me? Hah. He opened his bag to start the trail and discovered that I had kindly added some water to his flour and of course, a Smirfnoff Ice. For those not familiar with “icing”, you should definitely come to the next down-down circle and Matzo will give you a lesson.
Chi and Just Rob took off while more drunks continued to stumble in. Our trail weaved through neighborhoods with Lady Red Rocket being a major FRB. Slow down man, we need a breather! Or beer! After our first beer stop we headed up “Boobie Hill”, otherwise known as Islay Hill, where at the top we were greeted with a YBF, but is it a real YBF when there’s a bottle of Jameson and some Coke Zero’s to be passed around? No way! We were thirsty and polished off those sippy cups awfully quick and then began sprinting down the hill. For everyone’s enjoyment, I took it upon myself to find the perfect rock to trip on and proceed to go flying into the ground. Was I hurt? Bitch please, I’m a hasher (with tears welling in my eyes and a messed up knee, no biggie)!
After a 3rd beer stop we ended back at the park where we waited for the Turkeys. Did they get effing lost? Were they having a gang bang without us? I thought we had agreed to wait until after circle-jerk time?!
When they finally arrived the wonderfully deceptive Matzo nonchalantly began asking people to hold his drink. His Smirnoff Ice. The icings had begun; yes!!! We had an awesome naming of Just Rob and Just Annalisa, so everyone, please welcome Rick James’ Bitch and Ear, Eye, Anal!! We were missing our now piece-of-shit Hash Cash, Dildo Baggins (who has been suspiciously missing since he lost his virginity a few short months ago. What the hell, dude? Getting laid is not an excuse to miss hash! Well…… Actually….. that’s why Silence wasn’t there). It’s not like him to pass up the opportunity to launch something into someone’s eyes.
Our on-after at the Village Host ended up just the beginning of the night for a few of us. After Spikes then shuffleboard at McCarthys (sorry Saucy and Python, but a girl kicked your ass!), we then stumbled into The Library. Why? Why not? They hand out roofies for free!
I have been SEVERELY slacking on getting pics sent to the Web site but I’m leaving y’all with this little gem I got. You’re welcome boys 🙂
We’ve got a couple naming’s at the next hash (Just Jeremy
On -it’s Friday wankers!!!!- On,
-Greasy Lei (or “Oily F*ck” for Sprinkle)