Hash #232 – Burnin’ Princess Dildo Recap
Burnin’ Princess Dildo Recap
Hash this week involved lots of alcohol, a deer leg, a Dildo covered in a soft white substance, a dislocated finger (coincidence?) and the cops being called. Just a typical Thursday evening, right? Over 40 hashers (disclaimer: that number was conjured up by someone else, because as previously pointed out, I cannot count past 10) hit the hills and ditches as we pathetically attempted to chase down our hares, Burnin’ Rubbers (on a damn bike!), Dildo Baggins & Sprinkle Princess.
Right off the bat our FRB, Rick James’ Bitch, was greeted to his own personal alcohol stop. Tequilla! Yea! Pass that puppy this way! I think we had two more beer stops within the next mile, which led us to believe this really was going to be a short, flat, alcohol-heavy trail! As always, we were stupidly wrong. We traversed through this wet ditch (not to be confused with a moist bitch, two totally separate occasions) then up the damn Irish Hills. Along the way TT Long Legs found a fresh deer carcass and proceeded to yank (tee hee) the leg off. Literally. Go check the Web site for photo documentation. That leg now proudly hangs on the hashit for Dirty Girl’s enjoyment 🙂 As we were running down the dark hillside, we heard a girl scream ridiculously loud. It turned out to be Exocet as he dislocated his finger and slashed open his ankle. The amount of blood was unreal! And of course OHD saved the day using her knowledge to pop his finger back in place. Us hashers are gangsta! I couldn’t make this shit up if I tried!
Back at the A, we did our circle-jerk time, had a few virgins, a lot of backsliders, blah blah blah. Then the real fun came. A couple months back during a prelube, Sprinkle Princess and myself devised a glorious plan. This plan was finally put into play and the results couldn’t have been more perfect. We announced that we had a naming of Silence of the Clam’s dog, Just Macy, and of course, we all know what goes down (heh… going down…..) during a naming. As I handed out flour to over 40 people, quietly whispering to them “you know where this goes!!!”, Sprinkle was gleefully telling about how Macy loves to eat shit and we’re pretty sure she’s a lesbian. So as we introduced Taint to the crowd, we all wound up our pitch (can you tell I’m writing this while watching the Giants DOMINATE! F*CK YEA!), and instead of throwing it on the dog -because seriously people, who the hell flour’s an innocent, defenseless dog?????- we all turned to Dildo Baggins and nailed him. Wow. Bad choice of words there, but you get the point. The unsuspecting Dildo who always freaking tortures newbies with his flour-tossing skillz, was covered head to toe. It was epic. I scoured the crowd looking for my Princess so we could high-five our f*cken awesomeness. The plan was executed perfectly and I can only wait for more prelubes where we can devise more evil things to “nail” the rest of you.
We headed to Laguna Grill for the on-after just as two cop cars were pulling into our ‘hood. OHD once again saved the day (primarily because she was the only sober one) and reassured the officers we were harmless drunks and not driving too far from there.
The End.
On -Aren’t you glad you waited 2 whole weeks for that awesome recap?!- On
-Hot ‘n Greasy Oily F*cking Lei <-------- my name according to Just Jeremy [gallery]