Hash #243 – Spike’s Hash #2
It has come to my attention that I may or may not have slacked in recent months about getting you your hash recaps in a “timely manner”. So lookit here, less than 24 hours later!
Last night started at Spikes with a decent turn out. Our virgin hares, Just Jen & SPF69 were off and informed us that there would be 5 (yup! 5!) beer stops and at each one was a deck of cards for us. At the end of the hash each hasher would have 5 cards….. Sounds perfect for Texas Holds ‘Em, right?
Wrong.
We left the bar and weaved throughout the streets and ended up at the Creeky Tiki for our first beverage. Half the group took off immediately (because they are pussies and didn’t want a drink) leaving the other half behind. When we finally left the bar we were instantly lost amongst the Farmer’s Market. After roaming the streets looking for any sign of flour, I did a major no-no and used my cell phone and called Burnin’ Rubbers (the FRB) and asked where the f*ck they were. Madonna Mountain (that’s Cerro San Luis for you, Matzo), of course, we were way off trail.
Burnin’ calls me again (technology on trail?! For shame!!!) and tells me they “mismarked” all the checks to mess with us and send us the wrong way. Thanks a lot, a$$holes! So we’re on Madonna and our group splits again, this time leaving me and 5 other people to fend for ourselves. With no flour or chalk in sight, we said f*ck it and started running back to Spikes.
In defense, we got a great little evening jog in…. But in reality, f that! We sat at Spikes with our frosty beers and waited… And waited….
Within the next hour countless hashers returned, all defeated with the trail. But where were our hares?
After what seemed like another hour the hares finally returned and looked shocked that almost everyone was there. Yea dude, your trail was way too confusing! It reminded me of this terrible one in Santa Margarita a couple years ago……
Anywho…. We start circle-jerk time across the street which was full of laughs and asses (body parts, yea!) so that partially made up for it. We voted not to name Just Jen despite the fact that it was her 79th hash…… That trail was atrocious and thou shall be punished!!
Burnin’ Rubbers and Buzz Shite Rear showed up as we were literally finishing. 8.8 miles!!! Bravo ladies, bravo! They bragged about all their sex on trail and for obtaining all 5 poker cards. Whatever show-off’s…. We got to sit and drink beer the whole time so take that!
My one and only photo (I should have never been put in charge of pics) is of Spribkle’s bloody leg….. 6th period I believe is his new name? 😉
This is (what should be) my final pathetic sense of a recap for you piles of $hit. As much as it’s been entertaining being the bitchy voice of the hash and making fun of most of you, it’s been quite a daunting task.
You’re welcome 🙂
-Greasy Lei