Hash #226 – Stop Drop & Sprinkle Hash
Here is how it went down…..exactly!
I must introduce/reintroduce an old boot Stop Drop & Swallow. SLOH3 is her home hash. Now living in Long Beach, she was in town to help yours truely set trail. It was either that or sit in Lady Red Rockets house all day riding the Zoomba. Why she chose to set trail over automated battery powered devices is beyond me.
Alas, she was not available for the actual hash. She said she needed to see some backwards ass country fk named Zack Effron Brown? I dunno…. Anywho. She gets credit for the realy shitty parts of trail (ybf & circle jerk) all her idea. We set the beers, layed turkey trail, and generaly prelayed about 99% of the trail. Thanks SD&S!
6:00 Im sitting behind Kmart doing jello shots giving blowjobs………..oops. nope. Sorry. Wrong hastrash. My bad 😉 Realizing Im a sad fk sitting alone with no hashers to chase me, I call the most important person in the hash, OHD. She is on the wrong side of the grade with the all-important beer. Some quik calculations and I realize the beer will be 30 min late. I relax as this is perfectly normal hash behavior. The first to arrive is Saucy Squirrle Nut Stroker. He is in work boots and levis. At first he says “im just here to hand out fliers for my most excellent hash this weekend. Im not r*nning.” Next thing I know, a bunch of harriets show up. And turns out they have boobs! Saucy’s eyes glaze over and the badass runds the entire eagle trail in his workboots! Go Saucy!
6:30 we have an impressive group of hashers assembled. I am excited! This is cool! I do a quick chalk talk and equipment check. Most people had whistles. About 5 people didn’t. All is not lost. I provided whistles for them. Im nice like that. Those who were given whistles, chime back real quick and let us know how useful those whisles were. *evil laugh*
6:30 I stagger (thanks! Fkn Dildo) off to lay trail. The night is beautiful. The trail is clear, no shiggy, no ybf’s, no hills….I layed aperfect trail. No shit. 3 beer stops, a warm pool, sunset views of the ocean, and cute bartenders. You’re welcum.
Fk:30 (r#unning and drinking makes you not rememer the timeline) I return to the A and drink with the Turkeys. We solved a lot of world problems. The FRB was X-Rayted Butt Pirate. She promptly left for some mysterious thing she called work (we-rk). Very strange. XRBT, you owe 2 down downs. 1 for not having a valid reason to miss circle, and 1 for being an FRB. Praise was given, beer was drank, bare ass was seen and smacked, lies were said, crimes punished, dogs puked (Stranger, the boob checks are not for you. Remember that), Sprink forgot names and words to songs and his dignity. There was even a naked handstand in a bar (no kidding!).
On-On to Saucy’s gig
(If I forgot any importany detail…..I am very sorry and feel free to whip out your own has trash you lazy fks)
-Sprinkle Princess
Sprinkle,
While I commend you on your efforts for writing the hash trash, I’d like it noted that you were shitfaced drunk the entire evening, I’m honestly shocked you even remembered that much.
Firstly, the whistles. This was genius. Our beloved Princess was kind enough to hand out whistles to any and all who forgot theirs. He opened the tailgate to his truck and there they all were……. Each one with a “small” attachment. Let’s see, we had a shovel, beach chair, jug of maple syrup, a rug, a very heavy hammer, a large pot, etc. *Most* of the group were badass enough to actually run the whole trail with this, some however (ahem, lookin’ at you Saucy and Just Lissa) cheated and just removed the whistles. Rude. Either way, made for hilarious photos and ensured the community that our group is much more dysfunctional than previously assumed.
The 1st beer stop was at some apartment complex with a pool that was probably set at 99 degrees, no joking (at least no one could tell if I peed or not. Which I did. Second Hand Sodomizer then referred to the pool as very “yeasty”…. No idea what he was referring to though). Hashers obviously ignored the people who lived there and their small children enjoying the water as we all jumped in, mostly fully clothed, and even brought the dogs along. As the saying goes, it’s all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits. There may not have been shitting, but watching Stranger’s dog spew vomit from the steps of the pool as horrified apartment dwellers looked on was enough to even make the Turkey’s run.
On-On we went up the hills of f*cking Arroyo Grande with beer stop #2 with a delightful oceanview as we watched the sunset, then stop #3 at the SLO Down Pub where pitchers and live music awaited us. Then later played with a dead possum and discussed Pinterest recipes for makin’ that one mean pasta for later, in Sprinkle’s pots and pans, of course.
Back at the A, a very drunken Princess was berated for forgetting his signature move. Not a single boob check. Who is this guy?? Our token virgin, Just Jay, was asked who made him cum, he answered, “Dirty Girl. But not very often. And I’ve had to fake it a few times”. Hah. Um, Dirty…. your husband has to fake it? What role reversal. Sprinkle once again called me Silence of the Clams (for f*cks sake, man, get it right. I thought a night of all of us frolicking naked in a pool at a not-to-be-mentioned certain someone’s 40th birthday party was enough for you to tell us apart and actually for once call us by the correct names. Clearly naked women are not your “thing”).
Enjoy the video attached of our awesome beer stop numero uno and go check out the pics on the site… they’ll be posted……… later.
On- Mangina can you throw another birthday party this weekend? My liver is lonely -On,
-Greasy Lei