Hash #235 – The Funky F*ckin’ Stubby Strange Halloween Hash
Superheroes, doctors, ghouls, goblins and degenerates alike emerged from the streets and convened at the SLO Down Pub in Arroyo Grande for this year’s Halloween Hash, hared by Stranger, F*ckin’ Strange, Stubby Python and funkyballoftitsfromouterspace (God did we really have two couples lay trail together? Talk about the amount of fornication that must have happened). The turnout was impressive, 42 according to D’Bagg’s count, with a slew of virgins ready to lose any dignity they had left for themselves. The run began, first with a beer stop in a cemetery (spooky, right?) then continued on to The Pit for the “Mid State Scare” haunted house. Yup, that’s right, we went through a legit haunted house! For those not there, you missed out. Four people at a time, we wandered through the dark with zombies lurking, girl’s screaming (oh wait, that was just Chi), dead children and chainsaws abundant. It was awesome! We were greeted with a cauldron of jello shots and oily spaghetti at the end, could it get any better?! The run continued and the next stop: Diamond Adult World! Yea! We entered through the back door (heh heh…. you’re all thinking about anal now aren’t ya?) and did a little browsing of double-sided dildo’s and super cocks. I think the men of the group enjoyed it more than the women, but that’s not surprising since this is quite possibly the most dysfunctional group of people I’ve ever seen.
Officer Sprinkle Princess took it upon himself to direct traffic while we played frogger in the streets. Some innocent looking people in a neighborhood stared at us in disblief as I said “Don’t worry, the police are here!” and pointed to Sprinkle. Two seconds later the real police drove by and I realized that Sprinkle ought to stick to his day job, stripping and molesting young children. Apparently there was another beer stop at OHD’s house but a few of us missed that one. We ended out at the sand dunes where a bonfire, pumpkins, food and booze awaited us. Stranger, dressed as “cock sauce” aka Sriracha led the costume contest and was careful not to spray us in the eye, because I’m sure most of you know, cock sauce in the eye f*ckin’ burns! OHD ended up somehow winning the costume contest…. primarily because she forgot to wear pants. No pants = winning: note taken! There were way too many backsliders, but Cock-A-Tarian informed us she had been in Narnia. Dude, how the eff did you get there?? Clearly I’m playing in the wrong closet! The night winded down with lots of beer and one lost set of keys, but all in all, an extremely successful evening!
The end.
Gurgler, was that short enough for you? As a hasher who moved away well over a year ago, I really do appreciate your comments that my emails are getting too long and drawn out and annoying. I reeeeeeaalllyyyyyy tried to be considerate of your feelings on this one 🙂
On-On Mo-Fo’s!!
-Greasy Lei