Hash #215 – Annual Red Dress Run SLO
Red Dress Run Recap
Wankers!
For those who missed the 2012 Red Dress Run definitely missed out…. I mean, who doesn’t love to witness a sea of red dresses parading the downtown of San Luis….. with wieners bouncing to and fro. We were a sight, to say the least.
The A started at Spikes at 2pm where we made sure to lube up for what was sure to be a short, flat and not an 80 degree run. Once our knickers were wet we set out, chasing our hares Burnin’ Rubbers and Mr. Chihuahua’s Wild Ride through the streets and over the tracks (where the conductor screamed at us over and over… we get it lady) to eventually get to our B. With two missed beer stops on the Eagle Trail (thanks Chi for forgetting to write “B.N.” while we ran through the Creeky Tiki…… you should know Hashers are too drunk to realize they are in a bar and can actually get a beer there. Also thanks to the bum who stole our last beer stop, but to be fair, his camp was set up there, so let’s just pretend this was our “charity” to the community). Apparently the Turkey Trail got lost and missed a beer stop but wah wah wah… they got to stop at both McCarthy’s and the Gas Light Lounge, I don’t wanna hear it!
With a YBF leading us to Burnin’s house (yes, we were that dumb to follow the flour dots all the way up the hill), I thought Smurf Jerker was finally gonna pass out after wearing the Hashit the entire time (keep in mind how hot it was that afternoon). I think his only saving grace was that he discovered a rubber vagina attached to it. That got him excited, if ya know what I mean. Those dresses really don’t hide much.
We finally made it to our B, Chi’s house, where a flowing keg and spankin’ new deck awaited us. This is when the s*** show really began. There were a few virgins that survived the voyage, one even did all his down-down’s with red wine, quite impressive. Another virgin was so epically unforgettable (but oops I’ve forgotten her name), that Matzo decided she would get named on her virgin hash. This girl gave us so much good footage, we didn’t know where to begin. Bets were placed, drinks were poured, but alas, “certain” people cut her off and cleaned her up. I, for one, consider this chivalry and these people shall surely be punished at the next hash. We did, however, name Just David. He is now Granny Cracker and he and Chi’s new deck got a load (hee hee) of flour on it.
Food, drinks, and a never-ending partner game (congrats 10 Toes Up/Down on finally “winning”) led us into the night…… if you weren’t there, well, tough s***, you missed out.
On On to our next hash…. where hopefully the boys’ private parts will be a bit less revealing.