A drinking group with a running problem


SLO Hash #359: Wee Bit Nipply Hash

Wee Bit Nipply Hash!
Pack your coonskin cap, rifle and willy warmer, and join us for an escapade through an arctic paradise. How could this end? Possibly in a polar bear swim or sacrificial burning. Amateur explorers are encouraged to attend but risk getting mauled by a polar bear or plummeted by snowballs. It should also be noted that navigational skills of expedition leaders may be lacking.
Sled dogs and reindeer welcome.
Meet at 18:00 on 11/30/17 at Fin’s parking lot
Bring $5, ID, whistle, headlamp, fur coat, ice pick and Gorilla mask.
On On,
Just Ellen & Asspionage

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SLO Hash #357: Fresh Whore Hash

Attention all you old, tired, worn out, dirty whores: This is the Fresh Whore Hash!  Grab your yet-to-be-defiled virgins and youngsters.  If you can’t find any, maybe we’ll run into some along the way.  Maybe at an elementary school…. a park… a bus stop…  because the best thing about twenty eight year olds is there’re twenty of them.


Bring headlamps, shiggy socks, $5, balloon animals, puppies, and candy.

See you in SLO at the Graduate at 6pm 11/16/17  with supplies.


Eat Fresssshhh and Randy Whorehol.




Wankers and Wankettes,

Colonel Sanders is prepared to take you through a whirlwind hash to the bottom depths of his “notorious” bucket. Who’s in?!?! Let’s get greasy!!
When: Thursday, November 2nd @ 6pm

Where: Rancho Grand Park in Arroyo Grande

Hares: Finger Lickn Good and DJ Glitter Piss

Details: Turkey-Eagle split, furry friendly (humans or pets), virgins encouraged

Don’t forget to bring: ID, cash, headlamps (it’s gonna be DARK), dental dams, shiggy socks, paper towels, floss, virgins, extra VIRGINS and tuna. No lube required.

We do chiggen right,

Finger Lickn Good & DJGP

SLO Hash #355: Blood Hash

Ladies and gentlemen, Bastards and tramps, Bloodsuckers and mother lovers, Road trash and vamps, To the virgins and the nymphs, To all the harrietts, wankers and backsliders seeking graves,
Welcome to the SLO Hash House Harriers.

Its been a long summer so I’m glad to see you made the cut… until now.
Cum join us if you dare.  Wear your scariest and/or fleshiest for this ghoulish run.

Shiggy socks, headlamp, 5 bux, your wits,  and whistle are needed.  Dogs, snakes, and bats welcome.
The terror and torture starts at: Price historical park in Pismo Beach.
Meet up at 6pm.   10/19/17
We are your hosts Just Phil and Just Monica,
Masters of Ceremony
Gods of the race,
Welcome to the meanest, sexiest, hardest, Hash in the world.

SLO Hash #354: One Flew Over the CaCa’s Nest Hash

SLO Hash #354: One Flew Over the CaCa’s Nest Hash

Come out to SLO on 10/5/17 for an arousing romp over hill and dale.
Where? Johnson Park in San Luis Obispo

When? Meet at 6:00, hare away at 6:15ish
Who? Hares, harrietts, wankers, backsliders, virgins, halfminds, muggles and more!
What to expect? 100% live hare trail with no prelay, dog friendly, MAYBE a turkey/eagle split, depends on whether or not my bunions act up again.
What to bring? $5, shiggy socks, lube, headlamp, and loose morals
On to my shitty trail On,
Chilly Willy

SLO Hash #353: Hottie and Jizzy and Shiggy, Oh, my!

Hot Jizz, the Hare Dream Team, bring to you 3 miles of flat, dry trail with absolutely no shiggy or sand (2% true).

Shiggy socks, $5,  headlamps, and whistling apparatus required.

Start at Cloisters Community Park in Morro Bay, 9/21/17 at 6:00PM

On to Morro Bay On,

Hottie Potty & Jizz Gluten Free

SLO Hash #352: The Cumming Sporadically Hash!

SLO Hash #352: The Cumming Sporadically Hash! 

Tomorrow night is a Cumming Sporadically hash hared by our very own Cums Sporadically… And good times will be had by all who cum!!  (In my head… And possibly now yours… every time I say cum or cumming in this email it sounds like cum is being said through a didgeridoo… it really is such a great word that should be pronounced with some Aboriginal enhancement…)
It has a turkey eagle split! It is dog friendly! Cat friendly! Lizard friendly! Weird friend you wouldn’t associate with in a group of muggles but the hash is ok friendly! Prolly not pervy uncle friendly… though that depends on what his perv groove is?
It’s A to A, start is at Finn’s in Grover… congregate in the dirty area of the parking lot because apparently the paved portion is usually hogged by muggles. And we belong in the dirty area.  We just do.

Standard requirements, $5, a license if you want to prelube at Finn’s and look like you’re a member of a boy band … or a member of Josie and the Pussycats.  Hmm.  Josie is a little dated. She is prolly beyomd “the change” now.  Ok, if you could pass as a wicked young version of Josie. Or a Pussycat?
You can also bring what Matzo usually recommends… saran wrap, baby oil, loosened morals (assuming you have them) and low expectations.  Hmm. I am not sure if that is a hash requirement for him or what he used to expect from his dates?
This is Cums first solo trail and it is gonna be awesome sauce!! (Get it, sauce… cums… And here is my inner 12 year old boy! Oop! Just farted and giggled! Cuz you know, 12 year old boy…)
Don’t be like Norah Jones singing that song of hers “I don’t know why I didn’t cum?”  Make sure you do cum!  On trail! Reading this email! Looking at shoes!!  Reading a Good Housekeeping article about cum spot removal!!
Honestly, to me Norah just sounds like she had a really sad one night stand, but I haven’t listened to any of the lyrics beyond “I don’t know why I didn’t cum?” I tend to hear she didn’t cum and then my ears lock up and my brain goes into 12 year old boy mode, “She didn’t cum!!” coupled with an immature giggle and some fart noises.
Deets again, just in case you had your ears lock up about the lack of cumming Norah… or fart noises…
6 pm tomorrow in the dirty part of Finn’s parking lot
Bring $5 and virgins!
And your inner 12 year old boy!
This is a PSA for Cums… meaning a Pelvic Service Announcement… her hash is going to get some juices going!! *giggles followed by a fart noise*
On on to the Cumming Sporadically hash!!
Da Beav
Honey Badger don’t care what kind of phone this was sent from!

SLO Hash #351: Lazy Mofo Hash

SLO Hash #351: Lazy Mofo Hash
Alright, you lazy fucks! Get the fact that PBR is a hipster beer out of your fucking minds and jump into some hashing goodness.

Location: Big ass parking lot next Lady Family Mortuaries on 555 Fair Oaks Ave in Arroyo Grande. FYI You can’t fucking miss it!
Items to bring: Monies, ID, Fleshlight, Virgins, dog and cat-friendly
On 3 on 2 on 1 go
Grave Robber
“Still waiting on your mom to call me back!”

SLO Hash #350: Jizz On Trail Cayucos Hash

SLO Hash #350: Jizz On Trail Cayucos Hash

Can on out, stretch your legs, and try and catch Jizz in Cayucos!
Thursday 8/10/17 6PM
Bring $5, virgins, guests, visitors, moms,  dads, and backsliders
Location: end of 24th Street parking lot at the beach in Cayucos
On slippery trails on,
Chilly Jizz


SLO Hash #349: Pop My Hairy Cherry Hare Hash

SLO Hash #349: Pop My Hairy Cherry Hare Hash

Cum out to San Luis Obispo and run, walk, jog, roll, leap, and/or skip this juicy cherry trail.
Meet 7/27 at 6:00PM at the end of Bridge Street in SLO.

Bring $5, virgins, lotion/lube, cash & ID on trail, shiggy socks, whistles, and brand spankin new running shoes!
Trail is dog friendly but requires both parties be attached to a leash, turkey/eagle split for those show off FRBs.
On On,
Chilly Willy & Just Phil